i think i want to be done with it for awhile.
not that i ever post anything here.
but i've been fairly active on tribe
but that sites pissed me off,
they're snobs
much like here on livejournal.
yeah there are the people i actually *know* here
but everyone else pretty much sucks and are snobby
just like high school
and y'know what?
i really don't need it.

to give an update
my daughter was in fact diagnosed wit adhd/odd
her meds have been switched & she's doing much better.
we took in two strays
one human and one cat.
the human overstayed her welcome by 4 months
and my husband finally had enough and kicked her out.

the long story short on that:
she's very seriously disabled & terminal
from what she's told us
she's recently lost all of her vision
yet her mom & best friend were going to drop her off
at a shelter
alone.
so ron said she could come & stay here
until she got on her feet.
and she stayed and stayed and stayed
and during that time
was really nasty & hateful to ron.
and one day
he had enough
and told her to leave
immediately.

and around the same time she came here
a little orange kitty adopted us too.
he's very cute & sweet
but for many reasons, he's just not working out.
so i found a home for him
on a farm out in the country.

we're taking him there today at 1.

so the season of the strays is over
it's march & there's still tons of snow on the ground.
i've only been up 45 mins & i already want to go back to bed
and spend the rest of the day there.

and my goodness a lot has happened.
y'know that new job i mentioned in my last post?
it's the old job now.
long story.
but i have a new job & it's closer to home.
my daughter has been diagnosed with adhd
and possible odd and/or bipolar.
whee.
she's on meds right now & is doing much better.
my dad paid off my car
we moved, got a new tv, got new bikes for all of us.
uhm. yeah. that's it for now.

i've got it.
now i just have to get it out
and down
in a coherent way.

it's a horror.
the one i've been working on
for years now.

but with direction
and structure.

and permission.

there is a part of the story
that isn't exactly
mine
you see.

it's only a small part
and it involves
characters
that are real.

and i didn't want anyone to be
shocked or upset
that i killed these particular characters off.

but i was given the blessing to do so,
so kill them off i shall.

and really,
i will sleep
much better
at night for having done it.

in other news
i LOVE my job!
really!!
no more rants and mad ramblings.
i have a job
i adore
with a company i love
and coworkers who rock the casbah.

life
is good.

although
it would be better
if i didn't have this hellish head cold
right now.

god bless
puffs plus with aloe
that's all i gotta say on that.

but then.
i stumbled upon
this.
am i the only one confused by this commercial?
really now, i need some feed back
because i have NO idea what to think about this..

Koolanoo - Support Your People on Transbuddha

also you MUST check out:
asofterworld.com

you must i say. i command you. do it now.

i wish my husband was home right now
because i'm dying to show him that site.
he probably won't find it
nearly as amusing as i do.
but then
my sense of humor
is
differnt
from other peoples.

today is our first year anniversary.
even though we've lived together now for three
and have actually been together for a total of 6 years now.
but
the first wedding anniversary is special.

unfortunately
it's pouring buckets out side
so any outdoor activites are out
and
tomorrow is k's first day of 2nd grade
so being kidless for the night
is also out of the question.

however
since it IS her first day tomorrow
she
WILL
be going to bed
early.

ron's folks gave us $50
with wich we purchased 2 bottles
of moderately priced champaign
we'll probably only drink one
but it wouldn't hurt to have another on hand.
just in case.

in other news
i finished
"Haunted"
and am now reading
"Life according to Garp"
which isn't something i think i would have normally picked out
for myself
but began reading it on the advice of a friend
and i'm finding it surprisingly enjoyable.
espeically after "Haunted"
not that i disliked "Haunted"
but it was a carpet bomb of shock writing
and "Life according to Garp"
is peaceful and comfortable.

it's like

wearing a pair of kickass red stillettos
at a fabuous dress part and looking smashing
right up until you broke the heel
while tripping over your purse
on the bathroom stall floor
while in the process of puking your guts out
and trying not to get any vomit in your hair
to
a nice pair of comfortable
brown open toe sandals you paid a fortune for
10 years ago but are still in excellent condtion
except for being just a bit more
well worn and loved than when newly purchased
with great arch support and no skid soles
that would never dream of giving you a blister.

ok. i'm off to clink glasses and drink some bubbly.
later peeps.

yesterday was...
umm..
yeah.

but work was good.
i had the monthy 'one on one'
with my manager
and he said my stats were
SO incredibly awesome
(but could still use some improvment)
and he said that
i already had a promotion
but because i'm a temp
i won't get paid for said promotion
but
and he said
"when you get hired
(and i LOVED the sound of that)
your pay will increase
accordingly
to how many times you've been promoted."

so hopefully
i'll get hired soon
and start bringing home
the big bucks!

also yesterday
i was on the phone
for over 2 hours with my best friend
i miss her terribly.
she's moving to Missoula MT
in a week
to go to grad school.
i feel much better
after having talked to her.
she has that effect on me.

but after yesterday
i'm still feeling a little
snarky
so
today
i'm wearing
a mens shirt, boy jeans
and my hello kitty maryjanes
(girls size 2)
yes, i have tiny feet.
but only because i left my new balace sneakers
outside last night
and it rained.
but i think
i'm going to have to remove them
they are a little bit
too tight
and i cannot tollerate
uncomfortable shoes.

i got a promotion today!!

wooot!! raaaawwwwrrr!! yaaaayy!!
i ROCK!!

ok so it was a little tiny lateral quasi babystep
kinda promotion
but a promotion none the less
and i'm damn psyched!
it's one step closer
to actually getting
HIRED
and no longer being a lowly tempiepooh!

i've been training newbies for several days now
and while a newbie was sitting with me this morning
one of the managers IM's me with :
"when you get a chance come see me please. i need to talk to you"
now
as everyone well knows
statements like this are usually bad omens
so i went to her "office"
(which is a minicube just like everyone elses but slightly bigger as to accomodate an extra chair)
and she said
my stats are fantatic
my scored calls are excellent
i'm doing a great job training the newbies
(the newbies like me because i don't sit there and ignore them. i actually take time to TEACH them crap
that they'll use when they get on the phones)
and based on all of that
my manager
(because she's not MY manager just A manager)
reccomended that i be 'promoted' (laterally)
to the helpdesk
and she wanted to know if that's something i'd be interested in.

are you fucking kidding me??!
are you FUCKING KIDDING ME??!!?

OF COURSE!!
dude, i swear to you i almost cried.
the help desk is where you go to get hired
or move up to a different department
to get hired.
its where you WANT to be.

and best of all
it's where the
cool kids are!

oh hell yeah baby!!
99.9% of the people on the help desk
are
dorks
nerds
comic book reading, cartoon & anime loving, super hero worshiping, gadget hording, video game playing geeks!

MY KIND OF PEOPLE!!

in short

I FIT IN!!
for the first time in my life
and i love it!!
i am so happy
i could cry!!
*snif*

and on top of that
our bosses threw a pizza party today
and everyone got free all you can eat pizza
and soda all day!

today
was a very
very
good day!

Mona Lisa Descending a Staircase on Transbuddha

yes, i know.
i've been quiet.
but i've been busy.

i've (finally) figured out the formula
or framework
that i want to use
for my short stories.

ron & i are reading "Haunted" by Palinhiuk
and it's brilliant
(of course)
and it made me think
about a number of different things.

1. the format he uses in that book is ingenious.
and i'd like to use that format. or something similar to that.

2. the old adage. "write what you know" right?
yeah, we've all heard it before.

what do i know?
what do i read?

horror.

i read: (for the most part but not exclusively)

palinhiuk
king
rice
lovecraft
ellison

so it's no wonder
that when i write something
it's rather
dark.

and for years i've been fighting this.
i don't know why.
well i mean i do but it doesn't really hold water.

so it makes sense
for me to let go and just do it.
write the goddamned horror story.

so that's what i'm doing.
but it's also got me thinking
about women horror writers
there aren't very many
that are sucessfull.
(not that i really give a flip about sucess, but still)

why is that?
i think
it's my oppinion
that they are on some level
afraid
to really let themselves go
and dive into it
and play that role.

so if i do this
i can't hold back.
if i'm going to to it right.

it's going to require research.

when i have something presentable
i will post it.

thank you everyone for the well wishes and support.
it worked!
i feel better already.
i still have that whole kim carnes betty davis eyes voice going on
but at least i don't feel like i'm going to die.

so i've been trying to work up
a good frothy work rant
but i just can't.

mainly because
this job
isn't nearly as hellish as my last job
(being a janitor in hell would be a more pleasnat job than my last one)
and really,
i just honestly don't have that much to bitch about.
amazing, no?

sure, there are the usual
jerks, bitches & dumbshits
that happen in any generic csr like job
but
none of them
and i do mean
NONE of them
even come close
to being as bad
as the insane long islanders
from my last job.

in fact, just because i was curious
i read the past years worth of work rants
and dear god
i'm glad i don't work there anymore.

i never come home in a bad mood any more.
theres never been an instance
where i had to
* hang up on someone because they were swearing at me
*explain that "F" is a letter NOT a number
*threaten to hang up on someone if they didn't calm down RIGHNOW
*worry about wheather or not the shipping dept. did acutally ship an order
*come in to work in the morning to 50 messages in my voice mail and 100 in my inbox.
*complete more orders than there were hours in the day

none of it.
it's so nice it almost makes me cry.

the worst thing i can complain abuot is
The Canadians.

very nice people,
very friendly.

but

The Canadians i've spoken to
(and i talk to them all day long)
have not exactly been
the brightest bulbs i've ever spoken to.
it's kind of like trying
to have an intellegent conversation
with a cocker spaniel.

but i can't even complain about that
because at leat
at least god knows at least
they are
nice!

unlike
the hordes of asshats
from longisland and nj
i had to deal with
at my last job.

yes,
i'm thankful
for small things.

k & i picked
2 lbs of blueberries
visited the miniature train track
and swam yesterday
while hanging out
with friends from my old job.
and let me tell you
it was
The Perfect Day
for it.

despite the fact
that my child
was a total pain in the butt all day.

for example,
as i was pulling out of the drive way
she announced
*heavy emo exasperated sigh*
"maaaawwwwwwm. mimi's house is *that* way."
and points behind us.
as if
i don't know where i'm going.
as if she does.

it wouldn't be so bad if
she were right
or
if she had asked a reasonable question like
"are we going the right way?"

but as it was
she was wrong
and she didn't ask.

sure,
this is hysterical
if
*you don't have kids
*she didn't say crap like that 18 times a day
*we havn't gone over and over and over this
and how it's NOT ok for her to talk out of her butt.

yet, inexplicibly
she continutes to do it.
and i've had it with that crap.
yes, it's a minor thing.
yes, there are worse things.
but the point is
she should know better by now
and should knock it the hell off!

i've NO idea
what possesses that child
to think
that she actually knows
more than her parents do.

*sigh*
7 going on 17.
kill me now.

and if that wasn't bad enough
i woke up this morning and
i feel like shit.
my throat is sore
i'm stuffed up (even with my allergy meds)
my ears are cloggeed (see above)
my joints and muscles are achey
my head hurts
i'm having trouble breathing
and all i want to do
is sleep.
for very
long
periods of time.

i do not
want
to go to work
tomorrow.

and i'm fairly certain
that this feeling
will be even more
intense
at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

so
it's
vitamin c, cough drops, lots of water and rest.
'night y'all.

today
k & myself
are going
blueberry picking
with a friend of mine & his family
in a ginormous
organic blueberry farm
near my mothers house.

*squee*

i'm so excited!
yes, it is rather boring.
but
they are damn good blueberries
and
i usually get enough to last
for months.
i freeze a ton
so we can have
organic blueberry pancakes
in january
on snow days
and remember
that the cold and snow and blistering new england winter
will be over soon
and we can go
blueberry picking again
in the warm august sun.

not much to say
i've been too busy.
but i'm working
on a lot of stuff
in my head.

i want to start
seriously writing
again.
i've missed it.

now i just need time
to sit down
and do it
with some peace and quiet.

which doesn't happen
very often
around here.

but the plan is
to work on some
haikus
and to put some of the crazy dreams i've had
into prose.

yes
these will be posted.
(when i can actually get them down)

so that's why i'm quiet
as of late.
but i'm still here.

in the mean time
i ran accross this
http://thatgirlwhowritesstuff.blogspot.com/2006/03/office-haikus.html
oddly enough
on my companies website.

she inspired me.

we live in a very nice
renovated mill-house condo-like apartment
on the banks of a river
near woodlands
in a sleepy little bedroom town.

and fortunately
it's the cheapest rent in town.

our friends our envious
of how little we pay for rent.

we are very fortunate.

however
because the rent is so cheap
we have
low rent trailer trash neighbors.
whom i unaffectionatly call
walmart rockers.

now i'm trying very hard
to not be judgemental
or mean or condecending.
i don't think i'm a prima donna
we don't have a lot of money either
but
we do have
standards
of behavior.
that do not happily co-exist
with the standards of behavior
of said neighbors.

for example
i have problems with
being woken up out of a dead sleep
on a wendsday night
from a neighbors party/fighting (i can't even tell anyomore)
THREE FLOORS DOWN.
yah that tends to get on my nerves.

i have problems with
seeing the same neighbors six year old
(who enjoys throwing rocks at passing cars)
running around
in the street
all day long
completely unattended
by any visible adult.

i have problems with
the neighor who refuses to attend to her child
because she is far too busy
playing mmorpgs all night long
and sleeps all day
and won't take her child out side
but will let her child stay over here
for hours
while they take off
without telling us where they're going or when they'll be back
but won't watch our child
without a major guilt trip
and only with a very begrudging agreement.


and just today
i have problems with the very same neighbor
who's child plays with mine all the time
who's child we have and will
freely watch, feed and care for
whos child has been invited to all my daughers parties
has a birthday party
and tells my child
'no, you're not invited because my mommy invited other kids'
causing my daughter to cry
approaches me
in front of my daughter
and says to me
'nobody else showed up so your kid can come if she wants to'.

that
pissed me off.

i let my daughter go in for a few minutes
and the neighbor
wouldn't look at me or talk to me
or try to engage in conversation
at all.

so i collected my daugher
and went home.

of course
my daugher was upset
and didn't understand.

but i am in no mood
to deal with that today.
i just can't.

i can't say i'm fond of this neighbor
at all.
but i've never said anything rude to her
or given her cause to be this way
so as of now
i'm not dealing with her anymore
i'm going to stay calm
and they can go screw.

i work in a call center.
that being said
i will now launch into a tirade.

THE COMPANY:
on one hand
they are very strict.
and hold to very high standards.
all of our calls are in fact monitored
scored
and given back to us
with 'friendly tips'
on how to improve.
if we
don't use the proper greeting and closing
we get fired.
if we don't maintain a score of at least 60%
we're fired
if we don't have about 30 calls a shift
we're fired
if we don't navigate efficently
we're fired
if we don't use our 'cheerful voice'
we're fired
if we don't offer reassurace of help
we're fired
the list goes on like that.
but
we all do it because it pays well.

on the other hand
they give us
free all you can eat soda and coffee
(they want us to be perky)
we're allowed to wear
pretty much whatever we want.
friday is offically jeans day
but most people wear jeans and a decent shirt
all the time anyway
most of the women wear flip flops.
this is something that goes
a very long way with me.
i hate
hate hate hate HATE
'business clothes'.
(but that's another tirade for later)
so there's that.

then there are
THE CUSTOMERS:
some of them call because
they genuinely have a legitimate problem.
wheather its
technical, billing, they need to buy something
whatever.
those people certainly have their moments
but that's ok.
that's what i'm there for
and thats what i'm paid to do.
some of them
on the other hand
are complete
and total
morons.
yet, somehow they know for sure
that the problem they are having
is with OUR servers and OUR website.
not at all with THEIR lack of brain cells.
people who

*are suposedly in graphic design
but have never opened 2 browser windows at the same time before
and freaked out when i suggested that such a thing was possible.

*supposedly have a masters degree but can't type or upload a document

*don't understand the concept that if you post something online
anyone in the world can see it. not only people in your zipcode.

yeah so eventhough i have a desk job
and have joined the ranks of
wwoca
(Women With Office Chair Ass)
it can be pretty exhasting and challenging.
to say the least.

but
it still beats working for a living.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzSstcvLmYM

you must see this.
it's absolutley brilliant.
watch it i say. watch it.

and now
for something at the
other end of the spectrum...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMF2Eb0Wa_I&search=kelly%20shoes

tonight at work
a representative
from
fox news
called in
for technical assistance.

i thought about refusing
based on moral grounds.

but then
at this point in my life
feeding my family
and paying the bills

are more important to me
than getting into an
argument
with a fox new exec
(however blogjuicy it might be)
and loosing my job.

so i did my job.
i was
polite and friendly
courteous and accomodating
without
launching into a tirade.

but damnit,
i wanted to!

all this week
and all next week
my schedual is
11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.
which wouldn't be so bad
if
i didn't have a family
and a life.

the mornings aren't so bad.
k & i can sleep late
and i can putter around till i wake up.
but getting home at 9:00 p.m.
really
really
sucks.

so i asked my team lead about this
(because during training the class was assured
that our scheduals would fluctuate and
we wouldn't have a set schedual and we wouldn't
get stuck with a shitty one for more than one week)
i explained this to her
nicely
politely
dipolatically
and in turn she
very
nicely
politely
diplocatically
told me that if i didn't like it
talk to the temp agency for a reassignment.

and then
three hours into my shift
i went to the ladies room
only to realize
that my 1 hour old tampon failed
i was covered in blood
as were my khakis.
(thankfully NOT my new ones)
no way to go home
and no change of clothes handy.
so i cleaned up the best i could
and pretty much stayed in my cubie the rest of the day.

which meant i was pretty much distracted
and cranky
and NOT
as chipper
or as helpful
as i should have been.
which means i'll loose points off my score
and be called a 'bad rep' (no donut)

at least one of the ladies from the agency came by
she said she could tell i was upset
because i didn't look like my
'usual happy self'
(i didn't know i HAD a usual happy self but whatever)
and i explained things to her.
so maybe
just maybe
she'll pass it along that i was having a
reeallly
reaally
bad day & they'll go easy on me.
one can only hope.

ron & k went to andy's funeral
on block island yesterday
and his head got severly burned
becuase the seating under the tent was full.
so he's pretty grumpy now too.

yeah. so later.

Your Driving Is is: 69% Male, 31% Female

According to studies, you generally drive like a typical male. You're confident in your driving skills, and hardly any situation gets the better of you. And while you may have a few tickets under your belt, you're still a very good driver.

hm. interesting.
i am
a rather
agressive
driver.

today my husband had a bunch of his friends from work over.
we grilled
uber spicy chicken,
potatos and corn on the cob.
now everyones sitting around the kitchen table
playing poker.

k's been riding her bike
up and down the street all day
playing with every neighbor kid she can find.

we're all happy
stuffed full
and loving life.
it's a good thing.

in other news
my husbands best friend
has been traveling accross the US
in his band Draco and the Malfoys
(you can find them on myspace.com)
he's been calling us every few days
to give us updates, details, gossip, travel tips etc.
today he called
with bad news.
an old friend
from their scene passed away.
i don't know the specifics
but he was only 27 years old.

so brads out there in CA trying to do shows
and look happy.
(well..as happy as a band named Draco and the Malfoys should look)
and carry on
until he gets home
and has to go to a funeral.

my heart goes out to andy and his family.

i'm in the process
of moving.

to LJ from Xanga
for various and assorted reasons.

some of these reasons
include but are not limited to
(in no particular order)

*xangas ratings system pisses me off.
*weird stalkers
*i'm getting tired of xangantics & some people there.
*i need a change.
*i'd like my friends who are not on xanga
to be able to communicate with me
without having to open an account with xanga.

i haven't fully settled in yet
so there will probably be some changes
and rearranges going on
in the next few
days
weeks
whatever.

so i appologize for the borningness right now
but things are happening
internal
and
external
and i no longer want to use xanga.

*stay tuned*